Thursday, March 10, 2016

Neck Lace & mid- life Crisis

Since Clark Griswold was chasing Christy Brinkley in that red Ferrari, people have been making jokes of the mid-life crisis. The mere mention of a man purchasing a pricy sports car, or getting hair plugs, has us all Proclaiming"Midlife!". But in my perusing this week of social media and other  means, I've recognized, being in a Mid- Life crisis, has some very common threads.
(watch for it people)
Facebook, "I can't quit you"!!(#brokeback)
1.Numerous posts pledging affiliation with a higher power.
(only to be proceeded by dozens of drunken pictures, in dim- lit pubs) As mentioned in a previous post, My God has never been lost (to my knowledge) and thankfully, I didn't Find him after a night of clutching the throne(I'm hilar) 
Hey Brah,, St. Patrick's day is only 7 days away. Your sobriety is great, but somehow I bet it'll end on that date.
2. Fitness revolution!
It is no longer enough to Check- In, at the gym of your choice.
 Uploading videos of your workout won't convince me you're a new man, or woman. It'll just re- affirm, you're Not the only Dumbbell in the gym. And another thing, that app. your insistent on involving us in? The only person you need to prove your post- marathon stats to is you, sweetheart. 
And Pleeeassseee, save your sweaty selfies for somebody else.
3. Show us What you eat!
These aren't your typical drink pics or food flashes. Like the gym check ins, this has hit a whole new level.
Step #1 Buy Rubbermaid containers.
Step #2 Cook Chicken and steam veggies from a plastic bag
3. Line up containers on counter and divvy up the chicken and steamed veggies evenly.
4. Photograph, and put out an APB about meal prepping and portion control.
Step #5 Offer to act as a life and fitness coach to all that need it.
When in the history of EVER, have you seen someone's Supper prepped Stearilite containers, and said, "Maaannn,, I need to do That!"? I've had my fair share of figuring out what I need to eat in the past 2 years. Somehow, in that search, I haven't found frozen vegetables were worth photographing.
It's not secret that we can all eat better, and eat a whole lot less. And if I need a life coach to figure That out, God Bless!
And for the record, since you asked, am I in the middle of one?". Yes. Constantly. lol
But for real, about 6-7 years ago I probley was. My Grandma, that I was extremely close to, passed sitting with my grandpa, holding his hand in a Doctors waiting office chair. There were no final efforts, and he just sat there with her. I took a hard look at whom I shared my seats with and had to decide, when That day came, would I be comfortable in the company of that one person.
Hells, No I wasn't. So call it a mid- life, or say it was a sign, either way, I got the message and got out.
I Thankfully wasn't on social media much then so I have saved you all from some scary status updates. So can we just save the daily sweat shesh, for yourself? Not everything has to be Shared.
Can you make your meal prep and not involve us in your md- life?!

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