Monday, February 29, 2016

Stripes & when I was sent to be Styled

When ever one starts a new job, at a new company, One wonders how they will fit in.
How will the current employees will react to them, and how they will harmoniously spend 40+ hours a week together. It's the ultimate exercise in The Real World. Let's put a whole bunch of people together that have somewhat similar qualifications, but incredibly different backgrounds and work ethics. It could be Epic people watching.
Some years ago I had the opportunity to start with a new company.
A recruiter contacted me, and the interview process started. It was a bit long and arduous process, due in part to my interest in 2 different  positions and being over qualified for both of them.
None the less, there was the "They Really Like me!" moment and an offer was made an accepted.
I had never met anyone I'd be working with in person, until my first day. I had just met the boss, and the bosses boss, and that's all that mattered.
Or so I thought...
A soon as I got in the door I realized the look, the style and the fashion of the fellow peers I'd be working with, didn't Really seem to work with the company wardrobe. There were no bright colors, or moments of brilliance. There were many days, doomed with black sweaters and skinny pants begging for mercy, size 8 on a size 14 frame(Yikes!!) There was plenty of passive aggressive communication between the crew, and even more directed at the New Girl.
Truth was, they never met anyone like me, and they wouldn't ever again.
I started to debate, where I fit in, If I fit in at all, and if this was indeed my place to fall?
And if it was a place to fail, I had plenty of people waiting for me to bail.
Every day, one of my peers was busying himself, making notes on a legal pad. The next time we worked together, he felt the need to pull me aside and go through the list of notes he made about Everything I did wrong(or did wrong according to him)! Note to self: Never EVER fill the toilet paper roll without having at Least, At least 6 extra rolls in the basket under the sink!!! Did I mention, I was HIS boss? Lucky for him, I have thick skin, And a sense of humor. This conversation came up later, knee deep in his own paper trail of problems...Karma?
The straw and the camel that almost broke me was the most belittling experience of my existence.
It was not only unjust but incredibly asinine. It was generated by one of those mean girls, poured in the size 8 pants.
I was sent to be "Styled"...yup. I was being sent to another location to be "Styled"
Yes, this lifelong thing I eat, sleep, breathe called Fashion, Someone else was going to school Me on.
And it was mandatory. If I didn't go, I was sure to be labeled as belligerent, and that would put me on a whole Other list. I knew I didn't look, didn't act, and certainly didn't Work like anyone else there. And apparently size 14 had a problem with That.
So they sent me to a woman in her mid 60"s...Umm, you could be my Mom..
They sent me to a woman in her mid 60's with a Marquis cut diamond to be "Styled"
Are you screaming with me.. "A MARQUIS CUT DIAMOND!!??"
So there I was with a small half of my work wardrobe, working with her on how to adapt "My style"
It is something I will never forget.
The entire time I was thinking, "This is bullshit, why am I here?" They hired me for a reason, and the people that pay your salary have seen me, and have No problem with me". I was polite and present and breathing fire every second.
Arguably the most asinine thing I have ever been through.
So what happened After That?!
Well thankfully all of those Ass- hats I no longer have to see.
I can wear and say and do all things that make me, Me!
That stupid girl and her size 14's?, she moved on before she could be carted away.
I'm still wearing All the colors, All the jewelry, and am working with great people that make me(want to) Stay. 


  1. Good thing my diamond is round. I don't think anyone is ever going to be able to put baby in a corner!