Thursday, January 28, 2016

Renovations & Relationships

In the beginning, I used to think that the True test of a relationship was to take a Road Trip with someone. Sounds like a Great idea?! Right?! There will be snacks, and Crunch-N-Munch, and cool truck stops to buy shot glasses and rubber snakes at. Then, about 4.5 hours in, you realize you've got at least 12 more hours to go, and your pet rabbit may not be the happiest playing passenger. (true story) As someone who has taken Many a road trip- (and still regularly drives 4-5 hours with their significant other), Ohh How I have been Humbled.
I don't remember my parents partaking in any significant home projects. My Dad refinished the kitchen cabinets, but I was too young to remember. But when all 3 girls were old enough to be out of the house, they decided to do Extreme Home Makeover and double the square footage And add a bathroom. Yes, after all 3 girls are gone, Then you add a bathroom... Have I mentioned I never got ready in an actual bathroom until I moved out? Bygones..
 
I built my own home by the time I was 26. 
On nights and weekends, there we were. Till sometimes midnight, and all weekend till Monday. It took 8 months, and my relationship only endured 1 fight the entire time. Yes, I was roofing in March, snow flying, on a 10/12 pitch, and came away unscathed. And the fight that Did happen? Less than 3 weeks before we moved in, all because I was Hangry..lol
 
But as of recently, I have started to believe that a renovation can be a biggest test of any relationship. More so than a Ranger ride from Boise to Baltimore.
A renovation not only disturbs your daily routine, but it veers its ugly unfinished head in the space where you're suppose to be simply at peace.
A renovation constantly brings up the budget, and two people from different backgrounds will always differ on their desire to spend dollars.
And for Me personally, a renovation will arise a difference in ideas and opinion's about what's best. Tell me I'm too blunt, or tell me I may be mean, but don't validate my ideas, That, That will send me over the edge.
 
I was Really good at projects with my ex. We had even spoke about starting a property management company and buying a 2nd home. We both compromised where we had to and always had the betterment of the project in mind. We came in under budget, and always got the best result. However, We were Not good at our relationship.
Excuse the reflection, I've had 2 days and many hours to marinade about This very topic stripping the dresser in the above photo.
 
I could Never work with P.
I don't even understand how some spouses can spend the day together. I need a break, he needs a break. And him and I have a COMPLETELY different work style. (you see All caps? I really meant that). He's more of a: Drink Coffee, have a skillet breakfast, attend a few "bathroom meetings", then eventually show up on the job site. I'm a bit more Balls to the walls. Sorry folks. When I first met him I actually hired him to finish working on a house I was renovating. We didn't work at all on it together.
 
But none the less, I didn't get in this relationship for a work partner.
 P isn't one of my employees, nor am I his. We survived a full kitchen renovation last year- picture having plywood countertops for 9 weeks! I'm sure we'll survive another project (upstairs). At least on this one, (for now) we can shut the door and have some relief from our renovation, for the sake of our relationship...
 
More to come!

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