Saturday, December 26, 2015

Christmas in ma Houzzz

Friday, December 11, 2015

Christmas, & those Cards

It's That time of year.
And also yes, the most wonderful time of year.
That time of year when your mailbox starts to max out with colored envelopes, and Christmas cheer.
I absolutely love getting and sending mail. I recently purchased an old writing desk, complete with all the cubbies for monogrammed stationary and stamps to fill in.
Because I already converse regularly with the ones I am closest to, receiving Christmas cards from people I don't, can be downright awkward. 
 
You know what I'm talking about.
The card that comes in the mail and you have to ask, "Who are these people?" 
People that feel compelled to send you a card, once a year, but never call to hang out for a beer.
And thankfully(sarc.) there's Always one person in the family, in charge of keeping the "spreadsheet"
of Who's- he- whats-she's Birthday, Anniversary, and of course address.
I don't know about you, but if I have to ask, who you are, and you live somewhere far, you won't be getting my card for your jar.
 
So the photo cards come a rollin' in.
Everyone's so coordinated and neat as a Pin(terest page) Babes on the beach in their Chinos and Chambray. Fall in the leaves and the scarves in the way. Let the cropping out of any family crisis commence! But to me, do you know what lacks so much sense? 
Where did my friends go?!
They have literally disappeared and all I get now is pictures of their pint sized preemies!
 
Family photos to me mean one thing: The whole Family should be in them.
And according to my BFF, once people have children, they no longer what their photos taken because they're too fat. (now you know why we're friends).
Fat or not, before I see pictures of your adorable(sarc. again) tot, it's you that I miss!
Does it all really all end after the wedded bliss? This Christmas climb in the car and take pictures of who you Really are! Keep the cropping to the teenagers and their summer tanks. Keep the camera rolling at carpool, and see what happens when you pick up from school.
 
Be a fool and live in the moment with your Minions.
Eat popsicles, and get dirty. Who cares, we're all over 30! 
Leave the velveteen dresses and matching headbands, to the dolls in boxes. Its You I want to see, in the woods with maybe some foxes!
Perfectly posed pictures without you in them, only makes me wish I'd see you more, and when!
So this Christmas, get in the game, and on the card, and I bet you'll see, it wasn't really That hard.
 

Thursday, December 3, 2015

Lying & Lion's Den

I am well aware, that On this little Bloggity we talk about lying, cheating, and some Unfortunate things more than anything else. But as mentioned before, these are the ties that bind. And if we can knowingly nod or laugh together, that's worth it to me.

Stevie Nicks sang. "Tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies", but I'm almost positive, I've never been told a Sweet Lie. I also know exactly when P is lying to me, and me to him. I guess after 10+ year with a perpetual liar, I have no interest in returning the Favor?
 
I did however, do my best investigative work with him. See we lived apart for over a year. He was working over 2 hours away and had an apartment in the city. The signs were All there something was going on, and yeah, I had my own "extra cirricularrs". After some time I called the management office of the apartment and said I was the Office Manager of his company. I needed the telephone records from the unit to determine if we needed to get him a pre-paid phone card. The records were immediately sent my way and There it Was. You bet I called the number logged numerous times a day, and well into the night. 
Alexis, you sound like you were rode hard and put away wet. Thank god, we never met. 
The things about lying is, it's so simple, or very complicated.
1.A dead give away is if someone has an extremely detailed account about where they were when? Dead obvious lie.
2. If someone has absolutely No detail, where they were, what they did, super casual about it? Totally lying. " We were just chillin". I'm sure.
3. If someone is telling a story, and they are At least 2 parties removed? Super lie. Add a death to this? Totally lying. " My uncles best friend", " "My sister's boss at work"
Is there a special place in hell for people that lie about the dead or undead?? Woof..

My personal favorite involves the number 3. If someone is lying to you they will likely use the number 3. Sounds crazy, I realize. But you'll  listen for it now. " I called like 3 people", or "I tried, like 3 times". You see, 1 attempt to do something is futile. 2 isn't quite enough, but 3, 3 will put you over the edge, to make someone believe you Actually tried.
So if you did try, but you get caught up in it? 
You gotta Own that Sh*t.
One of my favorite lies of All times came about a few years ago. It involved 2 former friends that met at a ball game together in the summer. The friends parked seperately and said their good byes. One friend had the Brilliant (not so much) idea to load someones brand new grill into the trunk of her Grand Am. Who does That? Especially someone that Always wants you to know how much money they(don't ) have. As she celebrated her parking lot loot she texted her friend she had just said Saionara to. The friend chastised her and told her to get the grill back where it was. The girl, felt bad and told the boyfriend to turn the bus around. 2 minutes later, the lights on the on ramp revealed,  there was No returning that Roaster. The grill was in the back of the Grand Am.
Did I mention these 2 are Still friends? ?

Most likely still lying, but not enough to land them in the Lions Den.