In the wake of Closing 43 Chipotle chain restaurants last week, from recent e- coli cases, I've decided to divulge about my inner demon.
(Now you know why I rarely eat out)
And make no mistake about it, I still take issue with those of you that mention your medical updates on social media, I'm just not That type of girl.
However, just recently I had the opportunity to meet someone through this media of ours, that helped make some sense of the last 20 or so years.
Since the beginning of time, I've had a shitty stomach. Sorry for the swearing, but this gut of mine is simply the worst. I've always taken my stress there. Starting off in the single digits, I remember being so stressed out that no one would attend my birthday party, I'd be in the bathroom, right up until the doorbell rang. Fast forward 20 or so years, I eat clean, I get sick, I eat crap, and I feel like crap. I'm in a constant state of wondering when what I've ingested will come back to haunt me. Some say it's all in my head, but I can assure you, when I've been ass down and feeling like I've just lost 20 pounds, it's simply Not in my Head.
Just almost 2 Januarys ago now, I was at work, and was completely knocked over at the amount of pain I was in. Sure, I had plenty of stomach aches for ages, but this was, You're dying, and Something is severely wrong. A co- worker had to carry me into his car, and careen across town to the nearest emergency room. P met us there, and said he didn't even recognize me. I wouldn't have recognized me. Dr. asks me, "How long have you had a stomach ache?" I reply, " Umm 20 years?"I was given pain meds and discharged. The diagnosis?: You had a stomach ache. I'm sent off with a recommendation of a G.I.specialist, and a small amount of food I can consume. I eat avocados, celery and peanut butter(ants on a log) and cucumber for roughly 2-3 months.
And part of my story is PSA also. You want to cut weight and lose pounds quick? Literally cut the crap from your diet. Soda, Sweets, Salt laden chips? It's not rocket science people. I was eating extremely clean and not working out even once a week and I was losing, too quickly. I had to add carbs in to avoid looking like a cadaver. And for all you so quickly to jump on the bandwagon of Celiac Disease, consuming carbs was the one thing keeping me alive some days.
2 years later, I have some answers, and then no answers.
I have no Ulcers(anymore)
I don't have Cancer(pancreatic, colon, stomach, or gallbladder)
Leaky Gut Syndrome is a "medical mystery" in which most physicians don't know what it means, or what therapies can directly address it. But what it's meant for me is, when I eat crap, I feel like crap. The only treatment or cure is to eat clean and avoid excess of anything...Shocking,, I know.
I now have an entire list of legion halls and hamburger joints I now avoid. Dining out has definitely been different. Do you even know how many baked potatoes and salads I have been served?
So to my absolute besties, that have noticed I've been obviously absent to wine night, I'm sorry. Believe me babes, there's nothing I'd rather do than have a whiskey on the rocks with ya'll. You girls have been such a lifesaver so many Sunday mornings, when I was wishing this all would too pass.
And to my husband, who has seen me housebound, and have no ambition to head anywhere in the last year, Thank you. This disordered eating has definitely taken over far too many of our days. There's so many Sundays ahead, that I'd rather not spend, worrying about This stomach.