Sunday, September 27, 2015
Saturday, September 26, 2015
Thursday, September 24, 2015
Wednesday, September 23, 2015
Monday, September 21, 2015
So, 3 years ago I got married.
And for as cliché and expected as it sounds, 3 years feels like about 36 months....get it..
For those of you just following, P and I didn't have a "traditional" wedding. No church, no aisle, and no cake. You may have realized at some point, I'm Not That type of girl. And Yes I've said it before, Getting married was one of the most Normal things I've ever done.
No big deal, I just didn't need to walk down an isle(insert anxiety) and have everyone checking out my backside taking bad photos. And far as our vows, and our marriage, despite having a blog and opening a literal can of worms for people to read, we Do keep Some things private.
When preparing for this post, and taking in the last 3 years, I thought it best, as usual to keep things extremely Real. Sometime ago, I spoke with someone who was surprised I was married, and said, "Well, you don't like the married type". Followed by ,"You don't Act married?!"I can appreciate both exclamations because when I think of married people I think of 2 things.
1. Women that attend those at home candle or rubber food storage parties and spend the night, shit talking their spouse.
2. The married man that loses his money on a guys weekend to the Madame with no clothes. Read; The unfulfilled miserable sexually frustrated.
I can thankfully and honestly say P and I are not members of either Camp.
In 3 years we've settled in this nice little place of familiarity. The routine we have woven is more comforting, than conforming. Our relationship wasn't immediate from the start. When he would push I would pull and when he would pull I would push. He would ask me why couldn't it be easier, and Why did his friends make it look so easy? "Ohh Sweethart, what you don't know", I would tell him.
P will be patient when I am not, and he'll be understanding when I'm frustrated. He won't allow himself to become embroiled in something that already has me fuming. There is now a yin and yang that has developed without assignment.
At this point, I can sit next to this man and not have to exchange words. This is my favorite part. If you can just sit with someone, and not have to fill the space with unnecessary conversation, then you know you've got a keeper. The attraction is still palatable. My hand on his arm, my knee to his knee, I can't be near him and not touch his skin.
His Side of the Story:
I'm not much of a writer at all, but Dianah asked me to just pen a few things I know for sure after 3 years. It sound like some Oprah-isms, but for her, I'm willing to contribute.
I think I was meant to find her.
No it wasn't easy from the start. That message about getting the sweetest fruit at the top of the tree? It took a few years to realize that.
Sure, I'll look at other girls for the rest of my life. If you don't you're lying, or you must be dead. Those 22 year olds may be a novelty, but I'd be bored inside of 10 minutes. I would rather have Dianah, and a glass jar with goldfish in it, than a houseful with someone else. I look foreword to her coming home everyday, more than her dog. And if you know Annie, you know that's pretty serious.
At this point, if I didn't have her, I'd have to hang out at Anthropologie, or flea markets. Looking for a gal that looks great, smells good, makes fantastic food, and keeps a great house. "Good luck Ladies". If I went on Match.com or Plenty of Fish and told someone I need my fuzzy slippers, coffee, and pajama pants, she'd probley go running.
Being single now would be like a jail sentence- and that's not time I'm willing to do.
Cheers to 3 years, now let's go have a drink!
Sunday, September 20, 2015
Friday, September 18, 2015
Tuesday, September 15, 2015
Monday, September 14, 2015
Saturday, September 12, 2015
"Go Ahead, order it", he said.
He had said it a few times before, but more in a defeatist sort of way.
And prior to this night, I would have felt like I was taken advantage of the offer.
Taking advantage of a defeatist moment, a weak moment, a 2 cocktails in moment.
Or maybe I felt like I hadn't suffered enough,,,more on that later.
He had said it a few times before,
"When did the monogramming start?"
Maybe 30-ish some odd years ago. See if you've been following along on this little Bloggity, you'd know that I have 2 older sisters. By the time I got their hand- me -downs, they were more down and OUT, as in out of style.
So when the rare occasion came to receive something of my very own, my Momma made sure it was a special occasion.
I've often Hashtagged, #yankeebymarriage, because that was exactly what her and her mother were. Traditionally raised women of the south, that only moved north for the man of their Dreams. My mother married for 50 years to my father, and my grandmother married to my grandfather for over 75.
So they Monogrammed.
And if I was lucky enough to be able to wear a jacket, or have a sweater for school picture day, she made sure it had my initials freshly sewn on.
So when the offer came up again, and our 3rd anniversary was looming in the near future, I decided to indeed get that order blooming. My inner traditionalist loves the fact that 3rd year anniversary gift is leather. And believe me, when I asked around, I got plenty of "ideas".
When we were placing the order, something extraordinary happened that I'll never forget.
Its a big decision to order a handbag that runs about as much as a mortgage payment. It's an even bigger decision to have someone hand paint your initials on it. So when P asked me, what initials I would choose, I gave it a few thoughts. Your maiden name, is where you begin, an who you'll always be. Even though None of us plan for the worst, I can say I've been through some of That. And would I want my DDR there to lean back on?
And then P asks, what about having my Dads monogram put on it, so he'd always be with me. That's the extraordinary part. He comes out of no where, and shocks the hell out of me. What man that allows someone to take his married name, would offer that? The Right one.
So DGD it is, and was, and will be.
Tuesday, September 8, 2015
I Almost gave it away today.
Someone almost got my Jet Blue Moment.
If you're unfamiliar with the phonom, just Google, "Jet Blue Stewardess"
Then you'll know, this girl Ain't goin down without some words.
You see I've been working for the better 1/2 of this life, correction, since that 1st job as a caddy at 13. Yes, 13, and if you're about to ask how I carried the bags, Have you seen my man arms? And in that lifetime, most of it has been spent servicing others. If you've ever been part of This industry, you know Exactly where I'm going with this.
It's a Sunday, and we've been open for approximately 7 hours.
Less than 30 minutes before close you suddenly decide to meander around and visit your local retailer. No real need in mind and no real direction in tow. And definitely no regard for when the businesses will be closing. Never mind there's no one else around. You figure the world is Your Oyster! Your pre-pubescent boys find it funny to flip stacks of shirts around and table surf across freed spaces. Your husband decides to start dissecting his less than decent wardrobe, all after the store has officially closed.
And then you ask, "What Time do the stores close?" "Ohh at 6?? When did you start closing at 6??"
And I love what comes next...
"20 years ago"
We started closing at 6pm 20 years ago. And before that? These stores were not open on Sundays.
I'm not sure what you were So Busy doing the Other 6 hours of the day, but I was here. And I'd like to go home now to My family. Because guess what? When I'm not there, I'm here. And when you come in 10 minutes before I go home, it's like this:
Imagine, you at your desk.
It's Friday afternoon. You've cleared your desk. You've crossed all things off your To Do list. You've called home and told you family, just a few moments left and you'll be on the way for a long weekend.
You're boss walks in. Your boss walk in at 4:40pm and wants to discuss the Spring initiative. Or perhaps wants to banter about a breech in a project 2 months out. He may even want to review the research you (haven't even started) for a really intense assignment.
And the entire time you're thinking, "Really? All this could not have come hours or days earlier?"And you Can't Go Anywhere. Your stuck. What was going on, on Tuesday? Is keeping me here late even a consideration of yours?
That's what its like.
So on this day, I decided to keep it decent and Save my Jet Blue moment.
But there will be a time.
I may not crack a beer, and there may not be a chute for me to slide down, but I will have some words to say, that may be remembered across town.
So the next time, you decide to stop on a dime, and go somewhere, without a whole lot of time.
Just remember, the person in front of you has, cleared off their desk, called their family, and just wants to be on their way