Friday, June 5, 2015

Blooms & Birthday parties

It is a rite of passage in the Circle of Life, that your friends will breed.
 They will at some point ask for your attendance to an annual birthday party for their born. 
So I'm here to say, for us All, why kid's birthday parties Suck.
Let me first interject,  I love my birthday. If you know anyone born in August that doesn't, there must be something wrong with them. Can I add, I'm perfectly okay with attending said parties, as the "Friend without the kids", Really,, it's okay. Also, I Do believe my expectations are a wee bit elevated. My best friend is a premier party planner. As in Tiffany pearls as the Take Home for a 3 year olds soiree! Honestly, this girls ideas are off the charts. If the stork scurries up our steps, she'll be the first I'll call.
I applaud the gesture, but can't I just send a gift? Parties for Poppy or Paul who are still young enough to poop their pants, should primarily be for immediate family. Patsy is never, ever going to remember my package, and I prefer her to do so. See, I've never given Jack junk, and plastic toys are not part of my program. Call me crazy but does Anyone actually want that crap in their crib?
In terms of perishables, there's always pizza and pop. My sage advice?
If your going to host a birthday party for your babe, be a great host and set up the bar. Cancel the community chip bag, and cater something everyone will eat. It's too easy to order up an original menu for munching. How fun would snacking on Sushi for Sadie's 6th be?!
And last but not least, we need to cover, The Cake.
It ain't a party, without cake. #amiright? Can we keep the cake on our plates, and not smashed in a wee ones face? Never have I ever seen a small one happy to have cake in the face. And quite frankly it's usually Mom or Dad pushing the pre-made morsels on little Matthew.

I get it, It's a Big Deal.
Your offspring is one year older and you want to offer up an opportunity to open gifts. Keep the invites in the family, and host a gathering much closer to home.
Save the square shaped pizza, and open pickle jar for a party honoring your next pregnant girlfriend.
And I promise, the blooms for your birthday party will last much longer than that buttercreme frosting smashed in young Fredericks face.

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