Wednesday, May 27, 2015

Styling my Spouse

Last week P says to me:"You know if we were no longer together, I'd still have you style me". UUumm okay, glad you've thought That through.. He goes on further to explain that when I style him, he's sore the next day from all the "eyef*cking" he's gotten from the ladies.. Did you jut read that?! Yes, this is the man I live with, and if he's Actually reading this little Bloggity on his morning throne, "hi Honey".
The first time I ever met P out for an actual "Date",, it was more of a Sunday funday, he wore The Shirt. My most least favorite shirt in my most hated color.
I believe 90% of girls have a shitty brown shirt story.
I couldn't even tell you the first item of clothing I bought for him. But I knew it had to happen at a very gradual pace. You see what I initially was attracted to (obvi) was not the brown shirt, but this mans flexibility to take that t shirt to the trash.
You cannot expected to see results or change overnight, because all people, including myself are completely freaked out by change in their personal life. 
Did I also mention that 92% of men are wearing the Wrong Size!!?
As you can see, things got a bit worse before they could get better. The Only reason sleeves should come off of a shirt is if, and when you're camping and you've run out of toilet paper...get my drift ? 
P likes to say he looks like a used car salesman in this pic. Yup.
The devil is in the details people..4 inches off the shirt sides, a buttoned up collar, double Windsor(look it up people) on the tie, and all of a sudden this salesman is not longer peddling Subarus. So little by little I start replacing the freakishly large flannels, with some more gratuitous ginghams I threw out the moldy(yes moldy) Mandals, for some leather slip on sandals. Did I mention he actually wore those moldy mandals With the shitty brown tee shirt!!?? Killin' me smalls..
For the love of Nancy Drew...Can you see the difference Now ladies!!
Here's a quick tip: If you can get him into a social function with His friends and they start to tell him how good he looks?= You're work is nearly done! I remember P's friends starting asking him if he lost 25 pounds at this gathering! But be careful: There's Always one heckler in the crowd. And quite possibly its someone related to them. They just Have to say something less than complimentary because they feel so crappy about themselves(whole nother' blog) And let's not even get started about what their wearing..
Put a man in driving loafers?! 
Well now you've Sold Me! And we're moving on from his stone wash Mom jeans
Who doesn't like to have nice things and feel good when they wear them?
I've heard people say they don't give a 2nd thought to what they put on in the morning. My advice: "Well you should"
Then all of a sudden on a sunny summer day, This happens. Here's the sweet spot after several years of substituting more standard shirts.
Without prompting, and without pushing, this t shirt has replaced the shitty brown one to come out and play. Even though P has requested I stay on the payroll if were not together to keep him spiffy, I know he's got a whole closet of clothes (that fit) to choose from. Pants that are hemmed correctly, something fitting to wear to a funeral, and shirting that fits like a 2nd skin.
It's taken the better half of 3 years, but
That's been my journey in Styling my Spouse.

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