Sunday, May 31, 2015

Green Dress & Gettin' my Gun on

Wednesday, May 27, 2015

Styling my Spouse

Last week P says to me:"You know if we were no longer together, I'd still have you style me". UUumm okay, glad you've thought That through.. He goes on further to explain that when I style him, he's sore the next day from all the "eyef*cking" he's gotten from the ladies.. Did you jut read that?! Yes, this is the man I live with, and if he's Actually reading this little Bloggity on his morning throne, "hi Honey".
The first time I ever met P out for an actual "Date",, it was more of a Sunday funday, he wore The Shirt. My most least favorite shirt in my most hated color.
I believe 90% of girls have a shitty brown shirt story.
I couldn't even tell you the first item of clothing I bought for him. But I knew it had to happen at a very gradual pace. You see what I initially was attracted to (obvi) was not the brown shirt, but this mans flexibility to take that t shirt to the trash.
You cannot expected to see results or change overnight, because all people, including myself are completely freaked out by change in their personal life. 
Did I also mention that 92% of men are wearing the Wrong Size!!?
As you can see, things got a bit worse before they could get better. The Only reason sleeves should come off of a shirt is if, and when you're camping and you've run out of toilet paper...get my drift ? 
P likes to say he looks like a used car salesman in this pic. Yup.
The devil is in the details people..4 inches off the shirt sides, a buttoned up collar, double Windsor(look it up people) on the tie, and all of a sudden this salesman is not longer peddling Subarus. So little by little I start replacing the freakishly large flannels, with some more gratuitous ginghams I threw out the moldy(yes moldy) Mandals, for some leather slip on sandals. Did I mention he actually wore those moldy mandals With the shitty brown tee shirt!!?? Killin' me smalls..
For the love of Nancy Drew...Can you see the difference Now ladies!!
Here's a quick tip: If you can get him into a social function with His friends and they start to tell him how good he looks?= You're work is nearly done! I remember P's friends starting asking him if he lost 25 pounds at this gathering! But be careful: There's Always one heckler in the crowd. And quite possibly its someone related to them. They just Have to say something less than complimentary because they feel so crappy about themselves(whole nother' blog) And let's not even get started about what their wearing..
Put a man in driving loafers?! 
Well now you've Sold Me! And we're moving on from his stone wash Mom jeans
Who doesn't like to have nice things and feel good when they wear them?
I've heard people say they don't give a 2nd thought to what they put on in the morning. My advice: "Well you should"
Then all of a sudden on a sunny summer day, This happens. Here's the sweet spot after several years of substituting more standard shirts.
Without prompting, and without pushing, this t shirt has replaced the shitty brown one to come out and play. Even though P has requested I stay on the payroll if were not together to keep him spiffy, I know he's got a whole closet of clothes (that fit) to choose from. Pants that are hemmed correctly, something fitting to wear to a funeral, and shirting that fits like a 2nd skin.
It's taken the better half of 3 years, but
That's been my journey in Styling my Spouse.

Sunday, May 24, 2015

Ridiculous Weekly Round Up

I know,,,Not the Ridiculous you were expecting, but this has been my "drive into town" road for the past week. 5 miles down a dirt road,, Sounds Perfect.. 
The boys in Northern Wisconsin Know how to stock a liquor department. The best assortment I've seen, even including those south and in the cities! (Did I mention, there a whole other side, and a whole other aisle!!?)
"Truck Houling"
I used to be friends with someone that prided herself with correcting someone else's grammatical shortcomings. I guess it was her way to feel smart. I got a giggle out of this little spray painted sign though..!
This was 12 hours of ridiculousness. This ball is his life, and my life reading about the Kardashian's happened in 15 second breaks. A few people this week mentioned to me that I never speak of this lab of mine,,wellerr..technicially he's a step-dog..Maybe a later post this week..
Totally Over It. 
Ohh yup... Just as I was expecting to have a somewhat "quiet" fashion week..This Happens!
The saving grace? There's shorts underneath there?
And apparently full bottomed panties?
People...C'MON!! There's people out there like me, with Cameras!! 
"You had One job"
I could care less about your education and your professional accolades..However,
When I see a Government,, A GOVERNMENT produced sign along our trail?! This HAS to go documented...
Apparently someone wanted us to be Careful, very Carefull
Hope you enjoyed the Weekly Round up!

Saturday, May 16, 2015

Ridiculous Weekly Round Up

Because my eyes cannot stop seeing these things on a regular basis, I've decided to start doing a Ridiculous Weekly Round up.
If you're "Offended", you should have stopped perusing this little blog months ago.
If you're amused, Enjoy.. 
Are those actually palm trees on her socks??
Yes, I take pictures of people that BEG for their picture to be taken.(sarc.)
Ya'll been warned.
And do I ever go out in my lounge clothes?
The answer is No, and Never. 
Yup,, it hits 70 degrees in Small-waukee and we're all acting like it's 90.
"Spray tan holding on line 1.."
This was a Thing?? I'm pretty small,, but I'll leave my heels and my tennis shoes in separate categories. Apparently they weren't such a hit judging by the number of them on Clearance.
This needed to happen? People wage war against companies that offer smaller sizes, and claim it creates eating disorders. Doesn't this add to another type of eating disorder?
"Hi, this is 1997 calling, we found your sunglasses"!!
I cannot even Believe these are still for sale!? And people are buying them!!?
Steve Madden,,,Shame on you... 
The only bigger douchebag that tries these on is the Douchebagg still buying them.
Ohh,, and your boyfriend can have matching blades! 
How Cute!!
I'm dying,, and my dogs are licking me wondering what's going on.
Hope you enjoyed this weeks Ridiculous Weekly Round Up!

Wednesday, May 13, 2015

Love your Mother

This past Sunday we celebrated Mother's Day. Prior to that, I started thinking about my own relationship with my Mom and how that has progressed throughout the years And after marinating about it for several days, of course I have a Statement to make:
If you don't have a good relationship with your Mom, it's not her fault, it's Yours.
Yes, as an adult, if you have not made amends for what ever she has done or hasn't done for you at this point in your lifetime, yeah,, it's time to let That go.
I didn't have the relationship that I do now with my Mom until into my 20's. It took Me moving more than 1,000 miles away for me to grow up and understand that I needed her, and I also needed to be able to tell her that. Because like anyone else in your life, you may take for granted the things you Think they know, but it never hurts to still verbalize it and tell them.
My relationship works best with my mom when we live about an hour in between us. She's either going at 100mph, or crawling at 25, and on those days her lack of motivation drives me nuts. Don't even get me started on re- arranging her cupboards. it's the first thing I do upon entering her home. I have found that the distance works best because, it's close enough if you had to get there quickly you could, but just far enough away to keep a casual drop by at bay.  Years ago I had the option of taking a job that was based in my hometown, or kept me hundreds of miles away. I had no plan of returning down the yellow brick road, however, it led me home.
I have known several girls who have quite the strained relationship with their Mother's. And most commonly the direct link to the dysfunction was the daughter, holding onto a whole lotta happenings in the past. I am fortunate to have this time and place with this woman, the last thing I'm going to do is hold her hostage for something I have sore feelings about.
Like in other relationships, sometimes you have to take on a different role.
The bigger person, the better person. Take the high road, the slow boat.
What ever your route is, remember to (sometimes) take the road less traveled, and man up to
Love your Mother.