Sh*t Talkin', Talkin' Sh*t.
I'm not sure who came up with the phrase, but it definitely has it's time and place.
It's vulgarity I'd rather not use, but in this instance, it's necessary And in terms of doing it?
Who does it? Who doesn't do it? It's like I always say,, If you wondering Who does it, it's likely you.
Let's get down to brass tacks: Most often Sh*t Talkin' usually occurs between 2 or more "friends" and they end up talking about another mutual friend. You can likely trace Sh*t Talkin' back to playground days. 2 or more kids get together and someone makes a statement and it sticks. Something like, Jimmy doesn't like to play on the jungle gym because he's got brown hair.?? It creates a common bond for the others and feeds peoples need to belong to a bigger group. It can cross all ages and genders. Somewhere there are some 80 year old ladies having tea, Sh* Talkin' about someone else. Where it becomes a problem is when your common bond is speaking poorly about someone you consider a Friend. It can be understood there may be a common thing someone does that irritates someone else. I get that. But when it comes to someone that constantly complains about someone else, and they continue to spend time with this person, It makes one wonder what is being said about oneself when not in the presence of the Sh*t Talker.
Awhile back we had a young twenty-something couple that lived above us. They both grew up in the community and had no intention of ever leaving. Their friends were all here, their parents were here, their parents friends were here, everyone was connected in Some way. So one of the boys started dating someone that wasn't from the community. Foul move. The Sh*t Talking got so bad, the couple eventually broke up. Because this small town group of Sh*t Talkers couldn't take someone else in their arena. That's Bullsh*t.
I used to be friends with someone awhile back, and the friendship ended because of the Sh*t Talkin'. Day after day I listened to this person complain about the other. She was a bad friend, took advantage of her, had awful boyfriend, only wanted to get together on Her terms, constantly talked about the money she was making, but constantly underpaid her for doing her hair. The list of gripes goes On. And so did the friendship. So I was the one to question, Why be friends with this person if they irritate you so much? But also more importantly it made me wonder what she said about Me!? I was told, "This is what Friends DO!". They vent about each other to someone else! Nope. They don't.
So I'm going to stay over here in my Pink Skirt. It may be a hard concept to consider, but people I have unsavory things to speak about, I don't spend my time with. You may hear me or read about my Sh*t Talkin' about someone else. But you won't see me sitting with them anytime soon for afternoon tea. You see to me, a real friend will tell you the good and the bad. They won't just wait until your not there to talk about the rest.