Sunday, February 15, 2015

Zip it Zuckerberg

Facebook.
BookFace.
FaceWhore. 
NewsFeed. SnoozeFeed. 
 
Call it how you see it, we're All on it. What else can you say you've done consecutively with about 10 million other people? And I'm here to make a plea. Please, let it Stop. Let it all of a sudden one day, just go away. Be off the air. Be lost under any search results. Just like that, and it's gone. That's how I'd do it if I was Zuckerberg. It would just be Gone. Would you even be affected?  Can you even Imagine all the horrible "last go- round" videos people would post if they Knew it was ending?
"Bye Facebook- we Love youuuuuuuuuuuu". Gag.
 
Congratulations should Really go to the man for originally offering underclassmen the opportunity to oogle and god- only- knows what else, to uploaded online photos. Then every morning, to motivate the masses around their mobile devices to see what the night's shenanigans had brought. Now, the Promises? are projected: Cure Cancer...with Just 12,000 more Like's. Affirm a girl's beauty, living with  Alopecia for 5,000 more Likes.. And now, it's an institute for the elderly to stay somehow...Connected to their  children..???? Ohh good lord, That's What were using Facebook for? 2015 and no picks up the phone or writes letters(don't even get me started). My mom's not on Facebook and my Dad never knew what it was. Lucky. My sister is on it, but we're not Friends. I mean,, not like That. A few years back I had a distant cousin friend request me, and I of course denied it because, we hadn't had a conversation in 10 years and NOwwwwwwww she wants in? Nope. See ya at the next reunion. 
 
My time started about 6 years ago. God, had it Already been done 6 years? And why I got on it?
Someone I work with created my account and loaded pics. I didn't Really understand the point of it all, because then, and now, I still talk to the people I Want to talk to. But then the people watcher in me got involved. Then, watching all the bad behavior, and the Really bad behavior came out, again and again. And now, every day you can read about the 7 Insufferable people on Facebook. Or see them live and in action. My best friend and I have even talked about creating a Fake account, then randomly uploading bar pics. drink pics, drunk pics ect. and see what happens...10,000 "friends" and a few hundred "Hey gurl...heyyyy" later.
Can you even Imagine how bored the 18 year old college drop out is, that Zuckerburg pays $12/ hr to "watch" all this is? You Do know some eye in the sky is watching this all. and Laughing, likely about how Basic we all are.
 
So why do I stay on it?
Maybe the same reason as old Zuckerburg. I'm going to use this Facewhore for all she's worth. For this little Bloggity. For the exposure. Because I'm not banking on people to seek out Coffee completely on their own. Were all Lazy. It's Easy. Share a link, a Like and it's Done. And also, this avenue of social media gives me more material, than anything else.
 
So it's time Zucky...What is One more Country Outfitter, "What Song are you" quiz gonna get you?
Isn't it time to hang it up and be Happy with the money you made? If you're Really That much of a genius, shouldn't you already be onto the next Big Thing? The rest of us have to have great ideas, everyday. Snap Chat and Tinder have all the naughty pics the parents of pre- teens will never see.
Perhaps its time for you(and them) to
Zip it up Zuckerburg?

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