Friday, January 9, 2015

"C'mon Over "

"C'mon Over"
"Come on in. Pull up a seat- take a load off your feet" 
Ohh Shania Twain, if only it were That easy.
Well now that were done with the holiday folks we can get back to talking about the things That really go on. And these Things go on more during the holidays than any other time. We get a few quiet weeks after New Years Eve, then piggy backing on the big day is playoff seasons for multiple sporting events.
I'm talking about invites into people's homes. Or more specifically, The Off-putting Invite. The second thought, just maybe mention, not an actual invite offer, but I'll mention it so the person doesn't feel totally left out. 
You have these people in your life. please tell me you have these people.
The people that Always have to have the party. Or the big event. Or just a bunch of people over. The build up is massive. The kind of event that you Really don't Want to go to, but you may feel like you'll be missing out if you choose to stay in your little nest and not venture out for an evening. And it's Always , Always at their house, Because these people could not possibly go out themselves and grace the rest of the population with their presence. These people cannot be expected to travel to anyone else's house. Ever.
So you decide to go, and did I mention, it really isn't worth flying the coop?
When you get there, no one usually answers the door because the television is at such an audible level, you could hear it perhaps at your own home? And when you do walk in, no one Really seems to notice, at least not enough to peel themselves away from that ridiculous raucous on the screen. Apparently, your invite was absently- mindedly forgotten. There are a few bowls of dip laying around, and maybe a saucer with sweaty cheese nearby. The fridge, that you awkwardly attempt to go into may have a Corona or 3 in it, and one may or may not have been partially opened the night before(true story) Don't even expect these people to maintain their mixers either. Party rule #1: You need to offer diet and Non- diet soda to people, And, Have your bar Set- Up. Or be prepared to play Host. 
There are 2 men in Me and P's life that Put On the Dog.
That means, these two Know how to host a hoe down! They can shake the sh*t outta anyone else's shindig, and you'd be honored to go to one of their fabulous festivities. They may only happen once a year, but it's these glorious gatherings I look forward to most. They will mostly often oppose you bring anything, because they have Everything you can think of and more! It's one of my favorite  exchanges to see in action. One will play host and the other bartender. And the food... Ohh my , I don't even Really like food, and everything is divine! We spent a warm wonderful Christmas Eve, in their exceptional home. It was one of the best parts of my party season and I'm secretly hoping this becomes happenstance.
I have worn this hostess hat before. For just about 10 years I lived about an hour out- of-town.
It wasn't on the way to anywhere, and wasn't convenient for a casual car-ride. But that's exactly how we planned it. Every time I would invite a friend over they'd quickly decline, determining the drive would be far too long. The apology was immediately followed up by an invite back down to their town. That's when I liked to point out that the drive for me to them, was exactly the same as the drive from them to me. Strange. Eh??
So we planned some annual get- togethers far enough in advance, that people could save some money for gas, or the gumption to get out of town. Spring saw the Easter egg Hunt. In fall we held the Halloween barn party that always lasted into the wee hours, and had many making beds overnight. Then in December, we drove out to the nearest tree farm and cut everyones Christmas Tree. These little gatherings put me back some green. Everyone always got a take home gift, Throats were never Thirsty, and there was fabulous food everywhere. But that's just how we do it round' here.
So if you're considering catching up with some friends and have a festivus in your own home, do some planning. Discuss with your divas, who's bringing the dip. Take inventory of your invites, and maybe actually answer the door when they pay homage and come into your home. And finally, clean out that fridge, keep your Corona's un- cracked, and pour some more creative Cocktails.

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