Sunday, November 9, 2014

I'm a Lover, not a Fighter

Today's lunch discussion with my bestie was about a mutual acquaintance we know, that has recently become engaged. The two are in their early twenties, and have been dating for a few years. They both live in the same town they grew up in and have Never, Ever, left. And so begins the Pre-determined Timeline of the Rest of your Life.
You Know these people. We All know These people. These are the people that almost Always have an altercation in public. Be it a family function or a sporting event, the Sparring will be in full force. Wanna see it escalate? Just add alcohol. I've always thought of it as Truth serum, because all of a sudden someone gets Real Gutsy. Infidelity, erectile dysfunction, and orgasm issues all come out for discussion. Now, mix in a money issue? You've got a real fight in front of you.Think I'm kidding? I've been on the overhearing side of this conversation far too many times. Think I have no business listening? Guess again. These people have No business talking about this in public. But this is their circus and they are performer's. And these two can turn it on and off like a light switch. Disturbing.
And so it began, about 2 years ago. The statement of, "He needs to propose within the next year".  And of course I'm the one to ask, "And if he doesn't?"  What? will you leave him? What if it doesn't happen on your timeline?" And so it happens. And I can only imagine the issues that are about to impose on their lives. So during our lunch over drinks we compare all the reasons why it won't work, and she asks me, "you think she'll leave him first, or him leave her?"
These are the people that Stay together.
They stay together and keep the performance alive for us all. These are the people that pepper in some children in hopes of securing a more stable future. These are the people that constantly ask their parents or in- laws to watch their children so they can have a "night out". And because they've both been confined for at least 9-12 months, just reeling in resentment issues towards one another, their ready to cast a line. And nearby passengers? Their just bait. Consoling crying girls in the bathroom and bailing out the boys when they get a disorderly conduct ticket.
We hear you we All Hear you. And it's awkward. Then it gets even More awkward when the bickering stops and suddenly everything's okay and I feel like I'm the one that did something wrong.
So I will send the card.
 I will woefully send my well-wishes and say nothing about how I feel like everything will turn out.
I may even sit and have the pre-ordered steak dinner and drink the free Franzia.
See I'm a Lover, not a Fighter, and I wish more people were too.
Or maybe just keep the arguing to their own abode.


  1. I got goosebumps! I don't get why you "have" to get married and have kids...poor spouse and poor kids. Oh, and poor "you"!
    PS. Love the font but it's a bit hard on the eyes...

  2. Hi Sara!
    Thank you so much for your honesty and feedback! I seriously debated using the font. But I love how it actually looks like my own scribble! I know it's easier on the eyes via Smartphone vs. laptop. I am looking into a re-design for the new year! and please... send me feedback anytime, on any topic too!