Wednesday, November 5, 2014

Checks, Chicks, and why I'm Quitting one of them

About 10 years ago I had the thought of placing a Personal ad.
An ad seeking "Cool Ass chicks, that wanna do Cool Ass Stuff" 
The Ad would read(somewhat) like this:
Ladies: Like to do cool stuff? Crafting, creating, conversing, Coffee drinking? Then maybe some Shooting, Shopping, and Skiing? Trail riding, Tattoing, and maybe Tea drinking? Cool Ass chick is seeking like- minded Cool ass Chicks. Doing this cool- ass shit may be self- financed, or funded by someone else who wants to see you have a good- ass time, doing cool- ass shit.
Requirements:Your husband, Spouse, life partner, Must be self- sufficient. This includes, but is not limited to: Feeding oneself, bathing oneself, and must possess the ability to perhaps be left alone, Overnight.
Also required: The ability to watch your off- spring, for longer than your normal Target visit, and perhaps , yes, maybe, Overnight. Spouse, Boyfriend, or life partner must also be able to go over a period of 90 minutes without sending a text or interrupting us doing Cool- Ass shit with a phone call.
No Where, I repeat No where in the ad does it suggest "No Drama", because the breath of even mentioning it, will bring drama. And carefully screening applicants will weed out the ones who say, "Ohh, I hate Drama". Because it has been proven, those girls will pontificate Drama.
P likes to say, "It's hard out here for a pimp". And boy, do I believe him. It's hard out here for a Chick! Women are nuts! And the more they say their not, they are. And before you ask, Yes I include myself in this basket. Heck, last night I threw the dinner I brought home for P in the garbage after I saw he had broken the first piece of furniture I had ever bought, by taking it off the deck. The thought of the personal ad came up, because as I grew older, the women I was spending my time with grew older yet. They were busy breeding, and I was busy building a house, then another. And after the breeding the excuses followed, then the cancellations, then the re- schedules. Then pretty soon it was the holidays and I was receiving Christmas cards from the friends I once saw, somewhat regularly, and only their off- spring were on the card?! What did my friends go?! Literally and figuratively.
Earlier this week I told someone I have always taken my friendships too literally.
Too honestly and too loyally. Sarah Neary was my best friend from kindergarten to sixth grade. I spent evey day in the summer riding my bike to her house or hers to mine. We spent way too many days drinking her mothers awful chicken noodle soup(canned) Sarah Neary started to steal my art projects(that I noticed) in the 2nd or 3rd grade. She would come sit by me when I was mid- color session, and look at what I was creating. Because it took me a bit longer to finish(early control freakish behavior) she would turn her art projects in First. As Mrs. Dill was moving her Monet onto the wall, I was waiting to debut mine. I stayed friends with her for 6 more years(ugh).
Then there was Joy. Joy and I met in middle school band practice. Her, french horn, and my flute. We were friends for into high school, and the summer after, it all came crashing down. Joy hosted a party at her house one summer night, There were some people there from her work, and some girls were upset at the conversation me and my guy friends were having. Upset doesn't even cover it I guess. For when my friends and I decided to leave, I didn't see what happened next . Literally. One of the girls from the party ran up behind me, spun me around, and sucker punched me right in the nose. Yes, This actually F*cking happened! After gathering my thoughts, and my nose, we approached Joy's front door to head in and clean up. The lights went out again. Joy wouldn't let us in, didn't want the drama, and shut the door on my(broken) face. Even after moving cross- country and receiving a very heartfelt letter , it was almost 8 years before I was ready to reach out to her again.
When I'm Done, I'm Done.
It just keeps going with these girls. Even recently. I spent several hundred dollars and hours, planning and organizing a shower for a special girl. 5 days before the shower I was rushed to the hospital for one of the most frightening few hours of my life. But 5 days later, I gathered my gifts, and ponied up for a day- long celebration for her wedding. It was a conjoined shower and the groom was ghastly aware a few of his friends weren't there. There were 3 times as many girls there as guys. I'm out of the hospital 5 days and this guy is screaming at me why P wasn't there. Man screaming at a lady=fail.
 #1 P only had met him once and the conversation between them was about as forced as a dress on prom night.
#2 P had Just bought a new snowmobile worth more than Both their vehicles combined and he was Riding(Cool-Ass shit)
It only took 9 months to receive a Thank- you card in the mail for the shower and gift.
Apparently, it was being birthed.
So with the exception, of an exceptional few, I'm Done.
I'm quitting chicks.
I can no longer put the time, effort, phone calls, and fondness into people that make me feel 2nd best.
Everyone can be better about their communication with people the care about. Myself included.
I may not place that personal ad, but it will be far more peaceful, playin' with the boys and doing some Cool- Ass Shit.


  1. Well,I wrote a long comment and it got deleted �� But I mentionec that you are an awesome writer. Made me laugh! As always. We ( hubby & I ) don't socialize because we hate the drama that other couples bring along with them. I don't have girlfriends to hang out with. Because they all are married to control freaks and flake on me ALL the time. My high school friends got married at 18 EW!!! Not for me. I left my small town behind and never looked back. Kuddos for your post. Love it. So glad I met you ��

  2. and this is why I do this...! I was extremely nervous posting this topic because it really is near and dear to my heart. I give too much to too many and it hurts when that isn't reciprocated. I am incredibly thankful for the few that have been by my side for years. Ya'll know who you are:) and Now,, If I may please add Ms. Gabby, she has been a light in my day for almost a year now. Funny how someone you barely know can be one of your biggest supporters. Until we meet my friend;)