Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Death's Door & my Final Wishes

First things First: I'm not dying.
Well, not currently. But this will All be Really freakin' strange if I go soon. 
P doesn't like to talk about death. He thinks it's morbid and uncomfortable. Well, of course it is, a bit. But isn't it That much More uncomfortable if you Don't talk about it, then it happens, and your left with some Really uncomfortable concerns? My thoughts on this are, wouldn't you rather Know, than not? And in terms of writing a living will- this should  probley be done once you own anything of value that you worry about where will it all go. I have always said that my single biggest accomplishment was to ask my Dad everything I ever wanted, and said everything I ever wanted to him before he went. Wouldn't it suck if your final words on the table were, "Can you pick up peanut butter on the way home?"
 
I know that I grieve differently, and That's okay. I absolutely Do not Memorialize on the Date or "Anniversary". That's actually quite morbid to me. I guess I consider my memories and reminders throughout the day are more dutiful and more memorable than any annual memorial.
P likes to say that if I go before him, he'll have to hang out at Target, or flea markets or other "Tinky" places, that people like to buy stuff and re-do it. That's his word for when I'm puttering around, "Tinking" around.
 
So upon the day P has specific instructions:
1.All the purses will be divvied up between Laura and an awkward 13 year old girl that could use some confidence and popularity leverage going into high school. The shoes and nail polish go to Zoe in Faquay.
2.Sell All the houses. All of them. The last thing I want him worrying about is collecting rent in bad times. Even though the rental income is great, still Not worth it. Especially if he does #3.
 
3.Quit your job and move up north. With or without a job lined up. You can swing a hammer anywhere. P knows if he were to go 1st, I'd move immediately. What would I stay Here for? And Mom's always a plane ride away.
 
4. Run a resort. Sometime in this lifetime. Run a resort like Big John's and give kids pocket knives. And keep your facial hair. You're much more attractive with it. Use the #2 guard. And get those eyebrows waxed at least once a month. Even if you have to drive into the Big City to do it.
 
5. And as for Annie Francais Bean, either give her to my Mom, pending Charlie(her attack cocker spaniel) gets into some serious behavior classes. Or keep her and Never, Ever, leave her out of your sight. Put the blue drops in her ears every few weeks and brush her teeth every Thursday.
 
So I hope this makes for some interesting bedroom conversation for ya'll tonight! And you can decently discuss what happens if Deaths Door closes quicker than you anticipate.
 

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