Thursday, August 7, 2014

Selfish or Shellfish?

For the majority of my adult life I have lived with someone.
I lived with my ex for about 10 years. The last 9 months of which we we're not together(whole other blog post) And I've now lived with P for about 2 years. For the record, our co-habituating has not gone without the occasional collision. I believe I blogged before that we fight about 1 thing: The towels, right?  I lived alone for about 2 years, and it was both frightening and fabulous. There are days that I miss my little Sex & the City house immensely. But it was lonely at times and Annie and I became even closer. (if you don't remember that's my dog, you shouldn't be reading this).
When someone has lived the majority of their life, without someone else, the transition of co-habituating is much more marked. There is a selfishness that develops, and as time goes by the transition to living with someone is much more dramatic. I think I've always gravitated towards someone that's a bit more selfish. There's a cockiness to it. And there in-lies my attraction. 'Everyone loves a jerk", right? P is in no way a jerk, but as out time together goes by, he does many times act as if he still lives alone. On the nights I work late, the delivery driver makes it usual round to our home for the chicken dinner P has ordered for the past 5 years.
For the first time in over 10 years I am sharing a bathroom. And yes, it still makes me shudder to actually type that. You know my privacy in the bathroom rules...As of late P's bathroom activity has become a bit,,eehmm,,,"relaxed". He usually retires to bed about an hour before me, and gets up 2-3 times in between. At the point I'm preparing for bed, I inevitably end up stepping in the aftermath of a groggy man that has just "gone". The floor is wet, and NO ONE has taken a shower in hours. So I do my part,, as a considerate person, and kindly bring this up. I'm told it's water. It happens again. I'm told again and I even show P the paper towel that I've Just cleaned with, to give him visual evidence, it indeed, is Not "water". This discussion elevates, and I again bring it up, and am completely grossed out. I don't think he's a dirty person, I just think he's inconsiderate.
So in effort Not to be the nagging female that is constantly reminding him to "watch his aim", I did what any smart, and a bit sassy female would do. Took care of it. Yes, I have started using P's bath towel to keep the floor "dry". You may think this is a bit harsh and drastic, but how many times have you walked in wet socks out of the bathroom?
 Despite my previous comment, I think of myself as a very considerate person. The things I do for others that I share my life and home with, I do without the expectation of overwhelming gratitude. My Mom doesn't have once ounce of selfishness inside her, and its hard for me to either. Who doesn't want to live in an amazing home? I make our home a livable nest of creature comforts and daily treats. I didn't grow up anywhere near P. I wasn't familiar at all with the way his household ran. I can only do the things I think he deserves
Despite the recent bathroom behavior, I will continue to do all the "extra" things for him I had before, I may just now try feed the selfish man, some shellfish.

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