Sunday, August 24, 2014

I'm About Maxed Out

I've been wearing maxi dresses for the better 1/2 of 6 years.
"Yoga Pants without a crotch", yup, dead on. And if your a shorter gal like me, they Can be tricky. Luckily, I own (more than) a few pair of sky high wedge heels, and I can hem a dress in a few quick minutes. I stopped wearing nightgowns when I was 7, or about the time I became sick and tired of being mummified by the thing in the middle of the night. I'm beginning to have the same feeling about these dresses.
A few summers ago, after an afternoon at the Tiki bar, a friend of mine and I decide to get in the lake and go for a swim. Since I didn't have a suit on underneath,  I had to dive in my dress. A few short strokes later, I'm beginning to get towed under from the damn dress! Fairly inebriated, I start to freak out and tear the dress off. There I am, treading water, in my tighty whities(hardly)! My dress is at the bottom of the lake, and there's a bar full of people now audience to this act. There is No way I can walk out of this water! Luckily a 10 year old boy swims under with his trusty snorkel and retrieves my dress. Yes. This actually happened.
Girls will say, "Ohh they're Great, you just throw on and Go! You don't even have to shave your legs! They hide a multitude of flaws!" Nope. Nope. and Nope. Practical, yes, Comfortable, Yes. Go without shaving??! Hells No. If your anything like me, this Grasshopper has a bad habit of running her legs together, and if there's even a trace of stubble, in the shower I go. If I was a bettin' girl, I bet that guys secretly hate them. I feel like this is something I should have researched. What man do you know thinks an oversize pillowcase is captivating?
So today I wore the blue dress. I decided to give the maxi a Go again and run my day- off errands in the dress. This is the dress I wore years ago on one of the more memorable dates I had with P. It was in the middle of summer and we were on our way to dinner. About 5 months into knowing him, not even remotely open to thinking about 5 years later being married to him. And then, it hits me, we're driving and I suddenly think, "Ohh F*ck,,I think I like this guy", "I think I Really like this guy". I can remember this exact moment. Fast forward a year and a 1/2 of cat and mouse games later and we're coupled.
So I may be maxed out on maxi's, but out of all of them, I think need to keep, the most memorable one.

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