Sleep and I have an interesting relationship, to say the least. Tempestuous, is a better way to describe it. And what bothers me most, is I don't really know when this all started. I've always been a light sleeper. My Dad worked 2nd shift my whole life and it was all I could do to stay up until he got home. I loved falling asleep with the lights on in the nearby room, knowing he was home for the night.
It's not like I don't want it. It's not like I don't need it.(Duh) But on average I get between 3.5-4.5 continuous hours of shut eye a night. After that I may get up, let the dogs out, maybe use the bathroom, which really doesn't make sense because as you know I drink almost No water. Wine yes. Water No. So it's more like napping that I do. And I am Tired. But completely used to it. And now I have no coffee in my life?? I write a blog with Coffee in the actual title, and can't drink the stuff. This must be a nightmare! What makes it most difficult is, I love my bed. I love my sheets, the 3 pillows for each of us, the down comforter, the linen spray we use to freshen everything. I digress. Technically it's P's mattress, but I love the whole thing. When I first started dating him, I had to ask, "What's a guy like you have this Amazing mattress for, but sleeping on it with NO sheets!? Yes, here was this amazing mattress, and he was sleeping on it in a sleeping bag. (Read: The Bleach & the Bachelor Pad)
I usually shop online, read, or peruse social media (yawn) until 10-11pm very night. And before you ask, Yes I've tried the wind town time. The Sleepy time Tea time. The Do- the- Same Routine, every night thing. I've even started sleeping with one of those satin eye pillow things, which makes the process of actually falling asleep quite peaceful. Then P's alarm starts ringing at about 3:45am. Yes, you read correctly 3:45am. And if you ask him, yes, he has the hardest job in America. He leaves for work anywhere between 4:30 and 5:15am. Then I usually go back to a light cat nap until 6:20am. And it's usually then that I have the Dreams. The most lucid, vivid dreams about all the people and places and things that I shouldn't. Unforgettable, and often re- occurring. I have had the same dream for over 20 years about a mansion that I am in. It has a double staircase, and a fireplace so big that I can stand inside of it underneath the hearth. And there's no furniture in the house. It also has a huge glass greenhouse in it that is crazy similar to the architecture of the flying buttresses in the back of the Norte Dame cathedral in Paris. See what I mean about vivid? If I work at night, I sleep until 7:35am at which time my BF calls me and we have the Coffee tawk, now with Tea. Then I'm up, ready to take on the day.
Sure I want sleep, but as I've mentioned before, my favorite hours of the day are between 5-8am. I had an old boss that used to say, "You can sleep when your dead". I actually hated when she said that. But I get her point. Even if I'm in my jammies, planning my next great crafting adventure, I'd still rather be awake and productive than be sleeping. It seems like a waste of time. And even as I type that I know it's a ridiculous thought. The man I dated before P used to love the watching the moment when I finally let go and gave in to sleep. This was equal parts comforting and creepy to me. Have you ever known someone with "Chronic Fatigue"? I think of it as Chronically Lazy. I have known someone with that weird sleep pattern that they can sleep for 36 hours straight. Think of All that you could be sleeping through!
So tonight as you lie still in your beds, say a prayer for the girl with one eye and ear open, for her to someday soon, Have Sweet Dreams.