Sunday, March 30, 2014

Toe Polish PSA

I like to think of this Blog as part Girl Talk, part PSA and part Confessional. Chances are, if you're "Offended" by any of the topics, or call outs on this blog: 1. Your probley guilty or 2. This probley isn't your blog and you should move on. Back in the day when we had Oprah on network programming, she would call something out that people should Stop doing( likely years before her call- out) and then it was like "Ohh, I need to stop" doing that, and immediate action would occur. Well I'm not black(obvi.) and I'm not Oprah( you may have noticed)
A nice spring day of 50 degrees is the perfect time to go PSA on everyone and tall about Toe Etiquette. Apparently today, the weather was ripe enough(pun intended) to break out the flip- flops. And its perfect timing to go get your toes done. I'm in the year round' club over here. I figure I have to look at my feet year round', why shouldn't they be cute all year? Years ago my Mom asked me, "Who would be looking at my feet in open toed shoes?" My answer: "Anyone with two eyes". Yes, unfortunately when I see someone wearing sandals, for what ever reason, my eyes are like a radar beam that cannot stop looking. So I've seen it all: The good, the bad,and the Truly Ugly. Even P goes at least once a season and pays someone to insult him in a different language all in the prospect of maintaince.
The violations:
1.Chipped Toe Nail polish. The Worst. Chipped nail polish is even worse than no nail polish. And chipped nail polish on the craggly unfiled toes of a 14 year old girl in short shorts..I Can't. Acetone sells for .97 at Target. Pro Tip: go get some. Chipped toenail polish signifies: I once cared, but no longer do, and I don't care who see's.
2.French Polish on the toes. I Really Can't. Not even for a wedding. Not even in the South. A girl and I at work recently had a debate about to French or not to French. She's in her younger 20's and I HAD to set her straight. Traditional French manicures with a white or off- white tip are now reserved for senior citizens, or anyone who resides in a mobile home. And don't think by changing the tip color, your off the hook. Move on.
3. Toe rings, Toe jewelry. The 90's called. They want their embellishments back. Playboy magazine published a list recently of the Top 10 signs a girl is Easy. Tramp stamps and Toe rings were amongst the Top 5.
4.Lotion. Lotion.Lotion. At night, before you go to bed. Preferably under socks. The heels I have seen in 10 years of airport travel, resemble worse than the cracked crumbling foundations on many a re- habbed home.
5.Buy the Shoe(s) that fit. Cramming your foot into a pointed stiletto that's 1/2 a size too small is concealable, and painless unless worn while consuming a martini. Wearing a sandal that's a 1/2 size to small, will only have looking like your gripping onto the Grand Canyon.
So this Tuesday(my standard polish night) Treat your toes and the rest of us with two eyes and get some polish on those piggies!! 

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