Wednesday, February 5, 2014

The Art of Arguing

 
My morning commute includes a phone call with my very best friend that lives 1500 miles away. This blog is developed daily on the discussions that take place every day between 7:25 and 8:00am. 
She recently filled me in on the teachings of her two children. More specifically, what they're "Learning" in school. After a very confusing tutorial on how children are learning math, I started thinking about the most valuable things I have learned, and what they should Actually Teach in school.
 
For example, my entire life I was told that I would Need math Daily. When people asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, as soon as I said fashion designer, out came the declarations that I would Need geometry. And apparently I would Need fractions? For patternmaking?? I can say with certainty, that I have never Ever used fractions, and absolutely have Not used any of that geometry.
 
So what Are the Teachings that should be passed on?
The Art of Arguing
The Art of negotiating(This may help in an argument)
The Art of Making people Do what you want them to do(especially useful in an argument)
 
P and I argue about 1 thing. Bathroom towels. He has 2, I have 2. His are Grey, mine are Pink. They each have their own hook on the back of the bathroom door. Within a 24 hour period, P may end up showering 3 times. And after the first 2 towels are wet, he ends up reaching for mine. Have you ever tried to towel off, with a wet towel? #whitegirlproblems
 
When I argue with P, I definitely take some calculated approaches. He will call it, "Counter-Defense Mode", but I'll let him keep on thinkin' that. Essentially he thinks Counter- defense happens when I Know I'm in the wrong, but want to distract attention away from what I actually Did. Seeing that he doesn't read my blog that often, I'll let you in on my secret: I go HR on him. That means, I end up insulting him, without him knowing it. P says my most valuable attribute is my ability to give someone an insult in such an intelligent manner, that it actually doesn't hit them until well after the exchange has taken place.
 I will bring up something from before I knew him, and correlate how his awful living conditions cannot take place now that he's married. I won't swear or scream, because the Second you act Crazy: You loose. Yes, I am telling you, in That second you loose. There's no rationalizing with Crazy. Crazy usually has Tons of practice.
 
I know exactly what buttons to push, because he's one of those, "Always Kiss me Goodnight/ Never go to bed angry" kind of guys. And I can go Hours, weeks, heck maybe even Months before I'll cave. You forget, I have years of practice on this.
The Art of negotiation usually comes into play in order for me to lower the iron curtain. One of the best things you can have in your corner is having something that someone else wants. If someone wants something from you, they Have to play nice. Because at any moment, you can call off any plans and purchases, because you can. And that's leverage. I used to work with a woman who got her bathroom remodeled because of a simple,,err,,"exchange" with her husband after a fight. He wanted something from her, and she wanted the bathroom remodeled. (The Art of making people to do what you want them to do) 
 
But for all intensive purposes, I'm not here to fight. And I'm not here to wage war with my husband. I've had enough silent dinners, and sleepless nights in the spare room for several lifetimes.  But if the time and place calls for a feisty exchange, I've been degreed and expertly schooled in
The Art of Arguing

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