Sunday, January 5, 2014

Everyone Hates your Girlfriend

On this blog, I make the attempt to discuss interpersonal exchanges that I believe, happen to everyone. These "exchanges" are many times the things we don't talk about, but we are All thinking. I'm always the one to do it. I'm always the one thinking it, and usually in the end I'm the one to say it.
"We all Hate your..." insert spouse, partner, ect,
I swear and digress that it comes from a good place. I hold my friends within the highest standings and I'm quite discerning about the people that get to indulge in their time and attention. I think we hear things first, and forgive, and then we see them happen, and then we can't forget. We hear things like, "He doesn't like that", or "She doesn't want to go there". And suddenly 6 months have gone by, and you've barely seen your good friend. This type of control will only continue to manifest itself in the lifeline of the relationship. We tell ourselves, that as long as our friend is happy, that's all that matters. Doesn't being a good, objective friend also matter? Keep in mind, I was with someone that everyone hated and no one Ever said a thing. Imagine the time that could have been saved.
Years ago I was very good friends with Matt. Matt and I had an unwritten rule that we would be each others "Partners" for life, if it didn't work out with anyone else. We didn't have any romantic involvement, just genuine concern for one another. Well Matt met Amy, and in the 2 years that he was dating her, I met her once. Once in 2 years, and the wedding invites were out. Amy friends were priority, Matt's weren't. Matt now was always too busy, and Amy was extremely shy of meeting new people. So I told him: I told him I didn't know who he was anymore. I missed his friendship, and I didn't think she was good enough for him. I didn't hear from Matt for a few weeks, and the next time we corresponded, it was in the form of a text.
He had called the wedding off.
I could very well be included in one of those hated girlfriends. I'm certain that when a few of P's friends first met me they had cast their judgment's before they even heard me speak. I walk in with my big sunglasses and even bigger handbag in the North woods and I can smell the judgments.  
But at the end of the day, I have opened my heart and home to them all. Anything P would be willing to do for them I would also do the same.I know that everyone makes compromise's in a relationship, and you can be a chameleon when it comes to keeping someone interested. But eventually truth and behavior will determine,
If I really hate your girlfriend

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