Thursday, December 12, 2013

Make New Friends

Recently I had an old "friend", err,,"acquaintance" call me out of the blue and ask for a rather gratuitous favor. I've known this girl for over 15 years, and we run into each other every few years.
Other than that, we don't speak. In reference to the Favor she had for me, I erupted rather tumultuously. You see, for my Real friends, I will go to the edge of the earth for them. I will pick you up, bail you out, and listen to what ever you have to say, no matter what time of night.
For this girl, to put money and business on the line? No way.
It got me to thinking about Friends. It's hard for me to make friends. See most people either annoy the heck out of me, and the other half don't "Get Me". I talk to my Best Friend everyday. We live 1,500 miles apart, but we've both agreed, it could be earth shattering if we lived any closer.
When your younger, err in your 20's it's all a numbers game. Safety in numbers and quantity not quality is what it's all about. This is the exact reason you see ridiculous wedding parties of 30 or more.. After your 20's it's when your Real Friends will show up. Your real friends will call to make plans, and will keep the effort going. There are different friends for different occasions, and if you ever got all of these people together in one place, it would most likely be like a Real Housewives episode. Let me explain:
#1Your friend you call when your single:
This is the girl that's a little bit more of a train wreck than you. This could also be the girl that's Still following "The Band" well into her 30's. This girl has no interest in coming to your Baby shower, unless there's Mimosas involved.
#2 Your drinking buddy:
This is the girl that you text in the middle of the day at work to meet afterwards for drinks. This is the girl you meet for Bloody Mary's the morning after, and have Sunday Funday with. This is the girl that after one or both of you are married, you are no longer That good of Friends. This is a temporary Friend.
3. The Disappearing Friend:
This friend floats in and out of your life. If she's not in a relationship, she's IN. As much as we try to remain faithful to our Friends when in a relationship, this girl cannot balance. If you do happen to go out, just the girl's, she'll be texting or talking to her boyfriend most of the night. And he'll annoyingly call repeatedly to see when she's expected home.
#4 The friend you call with no notice to watch your kids:
This one's a keeper. If you can drop off your off- spring at a moments notice, and she'll take em', she's worth having around. This is also someone that can have a midnight bonfire in the neighborhood without getting frantic about what her own kids are doing. This is usually a surprise friendship, because unless you lived near each other, you probley would have never been Friends.
#5 The Friend that you call to come help you bury the body:
I think I am on a few people's list for this. This is usually someone you have known since your early teen years or longer. This is someone that's well aware of your shenanigans. She doesn't ask many questions and will usually bring the shovel. If you don't have one of these in your life you are missing out. This is one of the most loyal and faithful companions you will have.
After your college years, and after the Bar scene, making friends is almost as difficult as finding a mate. My advice: Be discriminating. This is the person that will know All your business. These are the people that you will call instead of your Mother. And if this person isn't doing as much to maintain your friendship as you, Then it's definitely time to
Make New Friends
(but keep the old, one is silver and the other's gold)


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