Saturday, August 31, 2013

Sticks & Stones

Saying your "offended by something is the new "Sexual Harassment" claim. In the 1990's Clarence Thomas and Anita Hill changed workplace relationships forever. They changed the way co- workers interact and they even changed the way we annunciate the word "Harassment" i.e. (harasssss ment)
 
At a former company, I worked in a partnership with a woman that had her Harrassment radar up so far up her..well you get it.. I witnessed her terminating someone's employment over a simple Victoria's Secret catalog. When you work in an environment with a communal break area, it's quite normal to find an array of gossip magazines, Avon flyers, and the Victoria's Secret catalog that arrives weekly in your mailbox if you've ever, ever in your lifetime ordered from them.
 
When my sister and I still lived in my parents home there were 3 girls ordering from the catalog. We would receive up to 6 catalogs a week at times!! My Dad was no infuriated that his mailbox was chock full of those catalogs he relentlessly called the catalog company and told then to stop sending the SAME catalog to his wife and 2 daughters!So your able to see why this publication ends up in company break rooms, medical offices and I can only assume the men's bathrooms. 
 
At my last company, there was a part- time employee that had a marginal attendance record, and an even less than stellar work ethic. During a yearly HR visit, where a representative did a "soft interview" with the current staff, it was brought to their attention that the "catalogs" were Offensive. Apparently the less than stellar employee struggled with body image and didn't appreciate the constant reminder in the breakroom that she Wasn't a model...The assistant manager who had donated the magazines was given the feedback and asked not to bring them in again to a "sensitive environment". After removing the "Offensive Material" from the breakroom, all was good for a few weeks. Until sometime later when the new preview holiday catalogs arrived and once again 1 of the 5 catalogs delivered that week made it to the breakroom. With one telephone call to HR from the "Offended Girl", and the Assistant Manager that had been with the company going on 3 years, and with bright shiney plans to run her own location was terminated. And the "Offended Girl" with a marginal attendance record?? She just stopped coming to work.
 
When someone says their "Offended" by something, I envision someone listening to them with their hands up, slowly backing away. There is the threat that the legal department may have to get involved. When you say your "Offended" by someone, it may mean that you cannot ever be around that individual again. It suggests that you are in a delicate place and may need to be handled with kid gloves. It's like being in a cage with a tiger and your holding a juicy steak. You throw the steak at the tiger to avoid becoming the meat yourself!
 
I believe that people are only "Offended" by the truth or partial- truths. In order for me to be remotely
"Offended" by something you say or do, you have to be  of relevance to me. You would have to be a person that I respect of sound intelligence, or experience. Remember that old rhyme about sticks and Stones? In a work setting, I was spoken to recently, in a tone that was not respectful nor appropriate. Within a short period of time, there was an apology made and the apology included, "If I Offended You"...I was not Offended. See: Relevance. 
 
If I have to walk  through a tight aisle to pass you to get where I'm going, and our backsides graze one another's, that's Not offensive. That means that person could stand to loose a few or I could take the road less traveled. If you "Goose" me, or get in my personal space, that's Not Offensive, that just means you've got some personal boundary issues.
 
Tell me I grow bad hair or my skin could really glow from drinking more water, or I should maintain my conversational French. Now That will put me in a delicate place, where I will stay with my coffee in hand, and my Victoria's Secret catalog in another.
Au Revoir
 
 
 

Dog walking details

Dog walking

Monday, August 26, 2013

Dr.s Orders

I've decided to pursue a second career in the health care industry.
I am accepting a position as a Medical Office Manager.
 
My left hand can operate completely independent of my right hand.
I can maintain a fa├žade of caring about people, when I actually just collect my next paycheck. 
I can work a dream schedule of 8-5 daily, with all weekends off and up to 3 weeks of paid vacation a year.
I can sit down most of my day, and choose when I want to get up and take a stroll through the facilities grounds. 
I can eat what ever I want because just because I work I the health care industry doesn't mean I actually have to maintain a healthy living. I can dive head first into my baking business and know that the goodies I bring will be immediately consumed in the employee cafeteria. 
 
After the morning 15 minute break(s) I may or may not decide to answer the phone when it rings. I may let the automated service pick it up, whereas I'm very busy Pinning my next baked delight. My baked delights will include and ingredient list including ,but not limited to: Chocolate chips, Caramel, Marshmallows, Toffee Chips, Rice Krispies, Lucky charms, and Peanut Butter. I will plan special color coded treats for holidays, all the while staying hydrated with my Diet Coke, which I need for the energy of maintaining such a hectic job.
 
When I do decide to answer the phone I will be sure to transfer your call, because there's nothing I can actually help you with, to another office. That transfer will be incomplete and you will promptly hear a dial tone forcing you to start the correspondence completely over.
 
If there are Dr.'s Work orders that are transmitted, I can assure you the system will "Go Down, just in time for my afternoon 15 minute break. After my second 15 minute break, including another baked goodie, I may...may have time to return a call regarding a prior question..
 
Nope,, it's 5 o' clock time to punch out and go home.
Wish me luck in my new career decision!!

Sunday, August 25, 2013

Love Letters

It has been said," Money Talks", "Talk is Cheap",  and "Your all talk, No action". 
 
I'm a sucker for the written word, always have been. In high school a group of popular high school boys "Hired Me" to write they're girlfriends love letters. There wasn't a pay-off, except that I thought it was HILARIOUS those "Mean Girls" were lapping up MY words! The gig went like this: Before class Rob Slavens would meet me in the hallway for the pass-off. Then we would all go into class together, and I got to watch one of those beauties unwrap the deliciousness and get all butterflies when she was reading it! So Caden Buenning, Jacklyn Nettesheim, and Amy Swanson,,,Read it and weep ladies!
 
P writes me love notes from time to time. The spelling and penmanship are barely legible, but I know the thought was there. The letters usually revolve around letting the dogs out, or a crude grocery list, but the effort was there.
 
 
So I beg the question as it refers to relationships, "Is texting flirting?" 
Texting someone puts a veil of disclosure around your words that otherwise wouldn't be there.
 
If you are a woman in a relationship with a man, or a man in a relationship with a woman, and you have a solid stream of communication, with another, that is on a "casual" level, You ARE flirting. 
 
 It has been determined that 1 of 2 things determines the flirt level.
1.The quickness of the response determines the interest level. When you first meet someone, and you get that little "jump" when your phone buzzes,,,yah,,That's flirting. However, when your ducking into the bathroom at work, phone in hand, and your in a relationship with someone else?? Yeh,, That's flirting Possibly flirting with disaster.
2.Would someone else reading the texts consider it flirting? This is where the slope gets slippery. I've been told that the content of the text determines the flirt level. I disagree. The content can be about what you did that day, what your eating for dinner, or perhaps something funny that you wanted to pass on.
A text to someone your Not in a relationship with is bonafide proof that you were: Thinking of that Other person, and Wanted them to know it.I do not go unscathed. Years ago I was dating someone that had to change they're monthly service plan to allow for the hundreds of correspondence we were sending daily!
 
I don't chastise anyone for continuing on this "relationship" in an adult way. But like any other "addiction", if your daily life is changing because of it, Perhaps it's time to read a new novel, or better yet, write someone you really love a letter.
 
  

Friday, August 23, 2013

MoneyTalks, Money talks

 
If your in a relationship, chances are you've heard the words, "We need to sit down and talk about our money". Or perhaps it rears it's head under the guise,"We need to sit down and really figure things out".
 
If your unfortunate enough to actually have this event happen, it usually takes place at the wooden table and chairs set you own, that rarely get sit in..Because this is where things really get serious.
 
In every successful relationship there is a 1. Spender 2. Saver. In a past relationship of mine that spanned over 10 years, money was the Only thing we agreed on. He had his money, I had mine and we paid the bills together. The last thing I wanted to do, or have done is the nitty-picky shit that goes on when you "share money" . When there's a saver and a spender, the relationship balances itself out. If you have 2 Savers in a relationship, well then you just have 2 people saving for a rainy day wearing dirty sweatpants at home.
I'm the spender. My Dad was the spender. I didn't grow up poor, but the hand-me-downs from my sisters who were 6 and 8 years older than me didn't really work. When I get money, I try to buy the absolute most for what I have. I actually try and convince P that I save more than I spend!(with the quantity I bring home,,, I know.. the rationalization..!) I don't spend like a New Jersey housewife, but I want to feel just as good when I find something for $50 vs. $500
 
About every 6-8 weeks my best friend gets the "money talk" from her husband(un- named of course!). The "money talk" is usually prompted by a "spree" of shopping that includes items for their 2 kids, and some for herself. This "spree" can also be induced by a "project" we're working on, or a seasonal transition. This transition can include: New pillows, window treatments, rugs, and a few things from the local yokel junk store. Now we're not talking millions people,,but just enough that the money talk comes up. The spending will curtail for a few weeks until its okay to start the cycle again.
 
And in the end, he caves, P caves, and we live in a wonderful home. P towels off with the fabulous Turkish towels, after he showers with the great smelling soap, He  can light the aromatherapy candles and pour himself a cocktail in the cut glass highballs. He can climb into our amazing bed with the 9 million thread count sheets and double- down comforter. And can rest his head assured on the Buckwheat hull pillows from Singapore, that he'll know exactly where My money went:)

Thursday, August 22, 2013

It's never, ever been about the Coffee

It's about what happens on the way to the coffee.  What happens when you order the coffee, when your standing in line, the stories you hear, and the stories you develop about the people you see. Are they in a first date?! Did they just meet? Are they breaking up? This my friends, is better than television. ..

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Wednesday pick-me-up!

I've always said, if you don't have someone in your life that regularly buys you flowers, Buy them yourself! Buy your flowers, close the toliet seat and stop bitching about what the person YOU choose to be in the relationship with, doesn't do. My life is too short short Not to look at beautiful things...how bout' yours?

This isn't a blog about coffee

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

So here goes nothin'!

I finally made myself just do it. Go public and get on board. As I've said before: Fate, Destiny, and Karma can all be manipulated. Swift moves and quick direction get's shit done. I mean what I say, I say what I mean, but I don't ever say it mean. Welcome...